Who is the Monkey?

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Working at a Chinese based/managed company in the United States definitely has its special moments, I mean, how can you break it to a communist CEO that there are actual employment regulations? Honestly, I sort of just got offered this position... but, from hiring, negotiating, reprimanding, firing, investigations, surviving HR in a shady company, dropping at least 5 F-bombs on a solicitor's call, going through boxes of tissue for crying employees, to arguing with management why "pretty" receptionists don't necessarily mean "smart" receptionists... I've done it... and somehow, I'm still laughing.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

A Shot of Cyanide Please!

Prior to my starting this blog, I contemplated about not ending up as a whiner. I don't generally like whiners, and usually, I mentally picture smacking them. So, I hope this doesn't come of as a whine, but here are the highlights of my few work weeks.

  • One of my favorite gals at work just quit. Not that I blame her, I mean, she endured a lot and knows where the company is heading. I had to do an exit interview, and my favorite was when I asked her where she thought the company would be in the future - the answer was somewhere along the line of "gone".

  • Upon drafting up calculations for her final paycheck, I was asked if it was possible to omit paying for her accrued vacation days... ummm... NO.

  • The fortune tellers did their job. They walked around the office and after curiosity from my colleagues, I drafted a release form allowing the fortune tellers to talk to those interested. A bit of fun for the kids I think. Now, all the women know how many kids they will have, when to have them, and whether their current/future marriages will end up in divorce - oh, they also know what colors to wear to boost their productivity! WOOHOO - we're the f'ing M&Ms factory!

  • The fortune tellers also suggested that 2 people in management should switch offices because the feng shui suited them better in different spots - I believe that is in the works. Oh - the CEO is now facing east with a Chinese flag and an American flag (in flag poles!!!) side by side in his office. I almost fell over laughing - I made sure I had an injury report form handy.
  • THE HIGHLIGHT - a director and I yelled at each other yesterday. In the middle of the office, in front of... EVERYONE. I couldn't help it, I know it was absolutely unprofessional, but I was blamed for something which I have no part in - for the sake of blaming someone. I don't know about you, but I don't stand for bullying, so I flipped my lid. I am a woman after all. I apologized to the employees for the unacceptable behavior. Apparently in China, management can yell at you in front of the entire staff, and you just have to take it.

Welcome to America baby!


Well, I already know that my next blog is going to be about observations and the lack of business ethics in my company.

Posted by Code Name: Confidential Monkey at 6:07 PM