Who is the Monkey?

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Working at a Chinese based/managed company in the United States definitely has its special moments, I mean, how can you break it to a communist CEO that there are actual employment regulations? Honestly, I sort of just got offered this position... but, from hiring, negotiating, reprimanding, firing, investigations, surviving HR in a shady company, dropping at least 5 F-bombs on a solicitor's call, going through boxes of tissue for crying employees, to arguing with management why "pretty" receptionists don't necessarily mean "smart" receptionists... I've done it... and somehow, I'm still laughing.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Pretty Sharp Indeed!

A man in a satin-collared, black tuxedo walks in for an interview...

Actually, this is not a joke, this just happened yesterday.

So, as I was saying, a man in a satin-collared, black tuxedo walks in for an interview and my head immediately started to spin. The scent of cheap Rite-Aid cologne was dizzying and unfortunately I hadn't had my lunch yet. I despise the smell of cheap cologne. It doesn't really even smell like anything except alcohol, old leather belts, and if flowers could dump - it would be mixed with what I would call - floral shit.


As I sat down across "Tux", I noticed a familiar look in his eyes. I know "the look" since I often had "the look" when I was younger. Tux looked stoned.

I composed myself, trying desperately not to faint. I stared at Tux and decided to continue on, as the man did drive stoned through 405 traffic. The interview went something like this -

Me: So, xxxxxxx, tell me a little about yourself.
Tux: Ummm, I don't know... I'm detail oriented.
Me: Ok, give me an example of what you have done, or what you do which would allow you to think that you are a detail oriented person.
Tux: I always look sharp!
Me: Sharp? Pardon me, what does that mean?
Tux: You know, I always look good.
Me: Right...

Fast forward -

Me: What are you looking for in a company?
Tux: Work ethic.
Me: I mean, what are you looking for in a company?
Tux: You mean like any company?
Me: Sure.
Tux: I don't know.

HIRED!!!